Allow What People Show You to Pressure You at Your Peril

Blessing Orogun January 25, 2023 3 min read 3

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About three years ago, I finished serving my fatherland (the popular NYSC) and because it was during the COVID-19 outbreak, I had to return home because I couldn’t get a job.

Towards the end of that year, I landed my current job. Of course, I had done some jobs in between but they weren’t as good as this one. 

Shortly after I got this job, a place opened up very close to us and I later discovered that it was someone I knew that was in charge of the place. We had served together and he gave off this vibe like he owned the place. 

I remember asking myself whether it was the 19,800 naira “allawee” we were receiving that he saved up and used to set the place up and equip it. I just brushed it off; concluding that he might have gotten a loan or that he had a sponsor that provided him with capital and afterall it wasn’t my business. 

So we continued to work; we had some collaborations between us and everything was moving smoothly.

Fast forward to this year that we just started, he got a better job and had to leave. That was when I found out that he wasn’t the one that owned the place.

I’m learning that people only show you what they want you to see. Everything is not always as it seems. You only see in part; you don’t always get to see the full picture.

That’s why we get frustrated most of the time; because we’re comparing our real-life moments with people’s highlight reels. 

More importantly, I’m learning to stay in my lane and focus on my journey. When athletes run, they don’t focus on their competitors or spectators. They maintain their lane and their eyes are fixed on the finish line. 

Stay in your purpose lane. The most crucial part of success is discovering your purpose. The journey is a lot easier when you know where you’re headed. Yes, there may be detours, impediments, delays, cancellations, and all manner of setbacks but as long as you press on, you’ll eventually get there.

Don’t allow anybody to pressure you with what they show you. Some people are actually who they say they are; others are just fronting. I saw a quote somewhere that says “Don’t compare your back of house with someone’s front of house” (paraphrased). 

In other words, don’t compare your day one with someone else’s day ten thousand.

I remember when I had just gotten admission into the university, one of my senior colleagues that was in his final year at the time used to tell us that the only difference between him and us was time. Given time, we would all become like him someday.

Permit people and their progress to inspire you when you start to feel under a lot of pressure to be like someone, remind yourself that you aren’t on the same journey as them. 

Eventually, if you stay true to your calling and are diligent, everything will fall into place for you. In the meantime, enjoy your process and cherish every moment.