Walker Hayes Tells Apple Music About Transforming Tragedy Into Triumph
Walker Hayes joins Country Faith Radio with Hillary Scott to share how he transformed tragedy in his life into triumph. Walker also explains that he developed a powerful friendship with spiritual mentor, Craig Cooper, with whom he recently wrote a book on finding peace after being down-and-out. Tune in and listen to the episode in-full this Sunday (October 9) at 8am PT / 10am CT / 11am ET or anytime on-demand at apple.co/_CountryFaith
Walker Hayes on Being an Atheist and Alcoholic Before Becoming a Believer
You know, I’m ashamed to say this, but I would’ve called myself an atheist, a humanist, for most of my married adult life. Just like everybody, I come from a big family. We got some issues. There’s issues with addiction. There’s absence. There’s a lot of heartbreak in all families, and sadly, that turned me to just kind of a godless phase, I would’ve said. You know how Nashville can be, it’s a confusing town, and Nashville’s like the popular kid in high school, you hate it, but you want it to like you so much. So we had a lot of that, Laney and I walked through that together. I’m an alcoholic. I’m seven years sober now, but I wasn’t thinking about becoming sober for a very long time. That was a problem in our marriage.
Walker Hayes on Losing a Child and Almost Giving Up His Sobriety 2 Years In
I was two years sober when we lost Oakley and I drove to this bar to just self destruct. I had every intention of… I didn’t care if I killed someone, got killed, got arrested. I just needed to… And when I got to this bar, my wallet wasn’t in the door of my Honda. So I turned around and went home and when I walked in the home, I remember I still had dirt on my shoe from burying Oakley. And I saw Laney alone on the couch, the other kids were all playing together, and I was just broken. For once in my life I had no one to blame. And I just was so icky. I just felt so gross. I was like, “Man, I just left my best friend to go and focus on me. I just left my kids to focus on me. But at the same time, they lost a sibling. She lost a daughter.” And all I could see was my own pain. And that frustrated me, and Laney found me an AA meeting that night. I explained to her kind of what I was going through and she helped me find an AA meeting and it was amazing.
Walker Hayes on When He First Met His Friend and Spiritual Mentor Craig (Whom He Wrote “Craig” About)
I met this guy named Craig [Cooper]. And he is such a huge part of my story because this guy Craig, I met him at a church I didn’t want to be at. I was hammered when I walked into Redeeming Grace. But this guy, I couldn’t make him go away. No matter how nasty, how different my beliefs were. No matter how crazy I even thought he was, this dude would not go away. And I wasn’t used to people … Even me, look, I’m as guilty as I would say anybody was ever guilty to me, is my entire life was performance based. But I got to this season where I lost a kid where I was like, “I can’t perform. I can’t even keep my kid alive.” But in the meantime, this guy Craig, he wasn’t loving me based on my performance for once.
Walker Hayes on Grappling with Being Grateful for God’s Blessings But Still Questioning Whether He Belongs in the Music Business
My favorite part of all of this that God created is writing a song. And so, I miss that. And selfishly, sometimes… People would probably be alarmed to hear this, but sometimes I go… My wife and I’ll be like, “You think you should just write?” This business really exposes a very narcissistic version of me. And I don’t love it. I don’t like that guy, but he’s inside me. I’m capable of some really gross stuff. And this business, it has that weight on my heart. I find myself getting out there [on stage] not being grateful, going, “Why couldn’t I hear this cue?” And I find myself being like, “I need these particulars to happen because we’re at this phase now.” And that’s an icky, icky version of me. And sometimes I’m like, “Man, I wonder if I was just like a high school football coach. Would I be that gross?” And the truth is, I would.
